HICHIGO: Owner's Guide and Manual
by Doggy L.O.A.C.W.D.M
Summary: Another expansion to the collection of Bleach Owner's Guide. Done is request to Scarlet Enigma. Sorry for it being incredibly late! Gomenasai, Mina-san! Hichigo is Hollow Ichigo, for those who didn't know :D


I don't own hollow Ichigo, any other hollows, vizards, espadas and humans in the bleach series. Kubo Tite does…..but I own this hole puncher! (starts hole punching air) lalala, ecstasy :D (hole punches eye) OH MY FUCKING GOD! O_O BLAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGWAGGA. (bzzzt) is making a reference to the electric chair kind of execution. Sorry for taking so fucking long to publish this.

**HICHIGO: The Owner's Guide and Manuel**

Congratulations valued customer (insert name here). You have just purchased model number 201946737291000012245273 of the HICHIGO unit in our Hollow Catalog in section F. This is your Owner's Guide and Manuel that should address all basic information, needs, warnings, and modes about HICHIGO unit number 201946737291000012245273.

**Basic Information: The unit standard data**

Name: Hichigo unit in our Hollow Catalog in Section F

The Type (what to expect): Murderous, Sadistic, Enjoys suffering, Is just like mother

Manufacturing Date (year/month,/day: hour/minute/second/milliseconds):

2010/7/1 8/51/23/45

Manufacturing Company: Scattered Scream © co. Commercials and catalog provided by Just A Marionette© productions.

Weight (customized by customer for customer convenience): Anorexic Skinny **Average** Mildly Obese Obese Morbidly Obese

Height (customized by customer for customer convenience): Grain of Rice Garbanzo Bean Squirt Bottle Up-to-your-hip **Average** Taller-than-a-door House Roof Space Shuttle

**Equip List: Fashion sense**

Quantity: 1: Soul reaper uniform (White with black lining).

Quantity: 1: Black Hakama Sash

Quantity: 1: Poofy Pants (Hakama)

Quantity: 1 pair: Bamboo Sandals.

Quantity: 1 pair: Gold eye contacts (you didn't think those were natural did you? :D )

Quantity: 1: Voice box for a creepy ass laugh.

_SPECIAL_**: **Quantity: 1: Chibi body. So you can enjoy death with a cute tiny bow.

**The Box: Removing The Unit**

This is an important part of booting up your HICHIGO unit. Avoiding this few basic instructions will most likely make you that crazy Mr. Laweson who is now in an exhibit at your local Scientific Body fair. First, when you receive your HICHIGO unit, you will notice that it is in a sealed, magic interfered stone/metal crate. Please note this is intentional. Can't let it hurt poor mother fuckers as it is on its way to delivery. Please summon the closest warlock who can't get laid to your home and get him to un-hex the stone/metal crate. Please make sure to hide in a safe distance from the crazy fucker who lies within the mysterious box thingy (EX: If you are in the U.S.A, we suggest you go to Norway). By then, the unit will have already busted through the stone, thus shattering the box and squashing that little Yorkshire next door (We'll get your neighbors a new one. Don't have a damn spazz attack). Please make sure to bound your HICHIGO unit with reinforced steel cables so that you may introduce yourself. This of course will not get you out of danger yet. Please make sure to go to the black market (or any secretive selling society near your bad ass ghetto home) and get a magic unicorn named "Trixie" that farts rainbows and glitter. This is, in fact, the weakness of the HICHIGO unit (as a result of not getting enough hugs from the ICHIGO unit when they were young). By then, your HICHIGO unit most likely has become a pansy ass. If this does not in fact happen, we hope you're family has life insurance on you. We're not paying the funeral costs.

**Programming: For Situations or just activity**

**Killer (default)**

**Tiptoe through the tulips (locked)**

**I just saw… (mode setting 3)**

Killer mode:

This is the default mode of your HICHIGO unit. As this is usual, please don't be surprised that by the time you make your complaint you'll be saying your prayers on death row (…bzzzzt).

Tiptoe through the tulips (locked):

The mode should be pretty obvious why this is locked…

I just saw…:

To activate this mode on your HICHIGO unit, all you have to do is set his mode setting from 1 to 3. In this mode, everything will fascinate (scratch that, disturb) your HICHIGO unit. This includes teary shock chibi eyes. The mumblings of "I just saw…" and "That's as bad as that old man down the street in his speedo" are all normal and expected of this mode. Please pay no mind, whiney mother fucker. :D

**F.A.Q: The Complaints of Whiny Ass Customers who won't leave us the hell alone**

**Q:** My HICHIGO unit has just killed my landlord because I told it I didn't like him. Help?

**A:** We suggest burying the body. If not, then please just report yourself and get it over with. We can't offer morgue services to HICHIGO mother fuckers who bothered to tell the unit they didn't like someone. Tell the HICHIGO unit anything at your own risk.

**Q:** Where's the F.A.Q section?

**A:** You're dumb.

**Q**: My HICHIGO unit just killed me. Um?

**A:** …..O-O;

**Q:** My HICHIGO unit hasn't arrived yet. But in his place, I got some freaky killer. I swear this guy was raised in an asylum! He's like all pale and creepy with a freakish huge sword thingy. Could you tell me where my unit is?

**A:** -_- You really don't know what a HICHIGO unit is do you, dumbass?

**Q:** I would just like to report a few of the complaints I have had with my HICHIGO unit since he has taken residence in my household.

**A:** Let's stop you right there. Our technical support and customer service cat HAZ NO TIMEZ TO LISTENS TO UR COMPLAINTS AND NEEDZ FUR HALP! Ah yes, invisible sympathy. He has it.


End file.
